Frieda L. Ferrick, MFT, Santa Rosa Counseling: Yearning For the Unattainable

Sometimes we  yearn for people and things that are out of our reach.  We want a relationship with an unavailable person.  We want something expensive that is way beyond our budget.  We think if only and what if constantly, so we are unhappy in our present life. We think if we have this magical relationship or object then we will be happy.

You are not alone, we all do this kind of wistful thinking and at times it keeps us from pursuing what could work for us in our lives.

We day dream and make up movie scenes in our minds of bold and dashing people that want us.  We don’t consider if we really want those people who look so good in a one dimensional way.

It can feel like hard work to make life work better for us.

So here is what I suggest:  write about what you really want your life to look like in a few years. and what kind of person you want to share your life with.    Break things up in manageable pieces and start to look at ways to change what doesn’t work in your life and add what you want.  Take that dance, movement, art, music class.  Do things that you enjoy and make you feel alive and authentic.  Take one day at a time and start building a life that looks good inside and outside.  Some days will be better than other days.  Some days you will accomplish more some days less but it will feel like you are making little steps forward and that really what this is all about.

Live life to the fullest and be as authentic and real as you can.