It is hard to watch people you love suffer, whether it be from an illness, a bad relationship, financial woes, or addiction issues. It is difficult to see someone struggling in their life and it is difficult to stay clear of our need to help that person. There is also the issue of guilt. If the person we love fails to resolve their issues and they continue to do poorly, we struggle with the sense that perhaps we should do more for them.
It is important to figure out what you can do for your family member or friend, and what he or she needs to do on their own.
It is crucial to distinguish helping from being co-dependent. Co-dependency means you help someone to the point of harming yourself and/or you help someone and enable them to continue their unhealthy behavior.
What is Codependency?
Ask yourself these questions to find out if you’re really being helpful.
1. When asked to help, can you do it without resentment?
2. Are you jumping in to help before you are ever asked?
3. Are you being asked to do something he or she can really do themselves?
4. Are you taking care of your health during this time of your family members’s problem?
5. Are you able to delegate or simplify tasks so you have time for important relationships?
You might have to work harder than you normally do when a family member or friend needs extra help or support. It helps if you can keep things in perspective and in balance.
Take Care of Yourself to Help Prevent Co-dependency
Periodically evaluate what is important to you in your life. What is important to you to incorporate in your life to keep yourself healthy?
Some Ways To Take Care of Yourself Are Personal
What works for one person might work or not work for another. Some people find journal writing helpful to connect to themselves and their thoughts. Others might want to work on arts and/or crafts projects. While others find meditation to be helpful in keeping them grounded and feeling more positive. Some people do well having a therapist to talk to about whatever issues arise or past issues that are keeping the person from moving forward in their lives.
Some Ways To Take Care of Yourself are Universal
*Exercise
*Proper diet
*Enough sleep
*Friends or some type of community to connect with
Whatever you need to do to take care of yourself, please find a way to implement some small changes and keep moving forward.
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