In life, there will be times when we have sadness and regrets about choices we have made. I read a line in a novel called Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche, and I was very struck by what the author wrote, in regards to grieving what we did not do or get. “Blaine needed what she was unable to give and she needed what he was unable to give, and she grieved this, the loss of what could have been.” And there it was in a nutshell. We can and we do spend time being sad about what could have been different in our lives, if only. Grief and loss is part of the human condition.
I know this to be true and I have been there myself. And over time what I realized to be true for myself and probably for others, is that it is ok to grieve for what did not happen or for a relationship that is no more, but if we lose sight of what is ahead of us we will lose precious time that cannot be brought back. Our time is finite as far as we can tell at this time in history. So to lose it, is a loss in itself.
So, sometimes we have to make a choice, sometimes maybe we make mistakes and then we have to re-do what we have done or go down a different road. But at least we acted on something and tried to move forward. Life is about loving the people we have and learning the lessons that life sends us, so that we can be the best human beings possible.
Grief and Loss are part of the fabric of life, it is how we deal with it, that makes all the difference.
We all have our challenges, our days when everything seems harder but remember there will be days when things will flow smoothly. Hang on to that, that it will come back again.
3 thoughts on “Grief and Loss: Part of Our Human Experience: by Frieda L. Ferrick, MFT”