What It Takes To Make A Relationship Last: Thoughts and Reflections by , Frieda L. Ferrick, MFT

All people, gay and straight, and transgender come into their  relationships with their own baggage and pre-conceived ideas. We come from a variety of religions, colors, culture and ethnic backgrounds which adds to the diversity and richness and also makes the relationships we are in more complicated.

It takes courage, determination, love and grit not to give up.  It takes periodic reminders of why you and your loved one got together in the first place. It takes two people who don’t want to give up on the relationship to make it a go.

Guess what, the grass is not greener somewhere else.  Who ever you end up with will delight and annoy you at different times.  That is part of what happens.  Over time, as you get to know each other, and deepen the intimacy between the two of you, you also get that, what you have is what you have.

Every long term relationship goes through different phrases.  The beginning is the getting to know each other, listening carefully to what the other has to say.  The delight, the excitement of it all is delicious and precious.  The middle of the relationship is when you are in the stable part and for some people this is when things can go awry.

This is when you have to pay attention to each other, though it is not possible to do it in the way you did in the beginning, especially if you have children.

Why did you come together?  Can you come back to that place of commitment, love, sharing and continued connection?  If you start to go off the rails, talk to each other, get help if you need it and know that you have created something special, work on it.

If the other person is abusive, then that is a different story.

If you love each other, work towards keeping the relationship healthy.