I Can’t Read Your Mind!

I think a lot of people get into trouble in their relationships, feel hurt because they don’t feel loved or understood.  So here, is where my title comes in, I can’t read your mind.  You can’t read mine. We think ideally that people that know us well, should be able to get what we need without our having to say a word.  And so sometimes we get hurt when our loved ones don’t understand, or see us in our pain, in our entirety.  We all want to be understood, seen and loved.  Sometimes it hurts when we feel someone is indifferent to our pain.

So, what I want to say to you, is that no one can read your mind, you might think they should know you well enough to understand what you want.  But it is important to learn to ask, to tell the loved one what it is you want.  And it goes both ways, you will not always be able to read someone’s mind.  They have to be able to tell you or ask you for what they want and need.

That can feel hard, to ask for what we need.  What happens if we don’t get what we ask for?  Well, it is hard but it is also hard to stay in silence waiting for what we want.  Sometimes just putting out what we are needing can help us to define more clearly what we really are wanting.

I can’t read your mind, you can’t read mine.  We have to be willing to take risks, to ask for what feels important to us.  The only way is to take baby steps and to start being more willing to communicate what is on our mind.  We might not always get what we want, but we can start to put it out there.

It seems so hard, so distant, and yet it is harder to stay where we are, alone in our silence.