If you are looking at this page, there is a good chance that you or someone you care about has had a major loss in their life. I want to share with you, some observations about grief and grieving the loss of a loved one. I have over 20 years of experience working with grief and I have learned alot from Hospice and from my clients.
1. There is no way to get around the fact that when a family member or a close friend dies, you are in for a roller coaster ride. Your emotions will be all over the place and you will not know when the grief, the pain will hit you.
2. Your grieving process will not be like anyone else’s. You might feel intense feelings for longer or shorter than another family member or friend.
3. How you grieve is not wrong. Some people need to be quiet, stay home. Some people need to talk and be with others. Some people will fall into pieces from the first minute that they hear the news, some people will start their grieving process a year or so down the road. But come it will.
4. People will try to comfort you by saying things that might help or possibly hurt or annoy you greatly. They want you to be ok but you are not.
5. You need time and you need to be allowed to take whatever time you need to get back on track. You lost someone dear to your heart and it hurts
6. All people no matter how rich and famous, how lucky or unlucky will suffer loss in their life time. It is how life is set up.
7. It is important not to make major changes in your life until you are thinking more clearly.
8. If you have the energy, tell people what you are needing. Have them help you with chores, food and whatever else you may need.
9. After a few weeks or months, people will go back to their lives and not be as available, perhaps then it will be time to get extra support from a group or a grief counselor.
This I know to be true, love and connections are important and when they are disrupted by death, the grieving process is intense.