When you experience a death or loss of a relationship, you have emotions welling up, you are forgetful, you cry unexpectedly, you may even feel like you are losing it, what you are experiencing is grief. Grief can feel like a huge wave threatening to knock you down. It feels horrible and dificult, and every day may feel challenging. You start to wonder, when will this crazy ride be over and will I really be able to survive this.
Grieving has no magical middle and ending. What does happen is that it begins over time to be less intense. We are all different in the way we handle our emotional life. Some people shut down, some people ride the roller coaster ride of grief with an outpouring of feelings.
Time is an important factor in helping us to deal with grief. Over and over I have heard clients say that even though they still feel their losses, it is not as intense. They have told me that they are slowly beginning to come back to their lives.
What helps individuals with these intense feelings? Again, it de pends on what kind of person you are. Are you intensely private? Do you do well sharing with people? If you are a very private person, but need to talk to someone, talking to a grief counselor can be helpful. A grief counselor will help to normalize what feels abnormal and be a willing listener to what you need to say. If you learn by interacting with others, a grief group can be very useful. You get to share your story, your pain, and you get to hear how others have dealt with their losses which may help you feel less alone.
If you feel stuck, just know that you don’t have to walk this path completely alone, you are entitled to have professional help. Being supported can help the healing process in unexpected ways.