Grief and Loss Counseling by Frieda L. Ferrick, MFT: Dealing With Loss Around The Holidays

Halloween is now past which means, before you know it, Thanksgiving, Chanukah and then Christmas will be here.  So it is time to talk about losses and how to deal with the holidays that are just around the corner.  There are different losses that we all have to deal with over our lifetime.  There is death of a family member, a dear friend.   The loss of an important relationship, a loss of a job, having health issues, loss of a beloved pet can impact how you feel about the holidays coming.  If these losses happened around the holidays or recently, you are having to cope with grief while others that you know are getting ready to have parties, go to parties and get togethers.

What can you do around this time of year with all of the hoopla around you?  You can honor your feelings and pay attention to what you need to do.  You might want to start some new traditions around this time of year, you could keep it more simple, you might not want to go to all the parties or maybe you do want company but smaller amounts of people around you.  Perhaps lighting a special candle for the person who is no longer in your life might feel comforting.   Because you know, you are going to miss that person or situation whether you talk about them or your situation or you don’t, it is inside of you.

There is no right or wrong way to how you feel.  If you pretend to be all right when you are not, that might feel totally wrong and yet you might feel that you don’t want to bring anyone else down.

If you can share how you are feeling and what you are needing from a few close people, that could be helpful.  Local hospice bereavement departments usually have talks and groups about how to deal with the holidays.  Look around you, there might by something that could be helpful for you.

Talking, sharing, writing, these are activities that can bring some comfort to your sore heart.  Take care.