If you grew up in a home that was cold, critical and or abusive, you grew up in fear without real attachment to your parents. Growing up without support is tough, but the slant of this article is about holding hope for all those who grew up without proper love and parental guidance.
Yes, I am speaking to you about what you can to to feel healthier and happier. When you grow up in this type of environment there are possible issues you might be aware of: 1. Lack of trust, 2. Lack of stability and 3. Making poor relationship choices.
Learning without being afraid is crucial. All people make mistakes as they are growing up. It is how you learn. If you grew up with critical parents, then you did not have an opportunity to try different things to see what you liked. People learn by trial and error. An example of this would be, it’s okay to try playing the piano and then trying another instrument and seeing if that is a better fit. This is the way you start to figure out what works for you and what does not.
So here you are in the present trying to live an adult life. There might be areas that are difficult for you. How do you move on and create a solid and meaning existence? How do you figure out who is the real you inside and what you want your life to be like?
Trying new things, seeing if it is a fit, checking in with yourself and noticing what feelings come up for you is how you start to become you. Then you start to be able to make true friends and feel like you are part of a wonderful and supportive community.
So, first you have to understand that it was not your fault that your childhood was difficult. There may be some need to grieve for what you did not receive in your life. Next, finding ways to make your life work in a more constructive way, moving forward and knowing that you can have hope, love and partnership in a healthy way and that you deserve it.
Some people do this in their spiritual or religious communities, some people do well working their issues out in therapy.
Good luck on your life’s journey.